Monday, September 28, 2009

Help My Unbelief

I've been reading in Mark lately since that is what my husband is going through in his New Testament class. A couple of days ago I read chapter 9 and the story of the man who had a demon-possessed son has sort of stuck in my mind. I thought of what he said to Jesus when Jesus told him all things are possible for one who believes. The man said, "I believe; help my unbelief." So does he believe or does he not? It can't be both. But I've found that I completely identify with this man. I know that God is all powerful and is able to do anything. I believe. But when things look so bleak, like a demon-possessed boy being thrown in the fire and almost killed, or depression setting in with lies from the enemy weighing you down and sin on every side, its hard to see how things can get any better. Help my unbelief! I believe that God is more than able to keep me from stumbling and to sanctify me through and through and to aid me in walking by the Spirit so as NOT to gratify the desires of the flesh but at times I disbelieve that it is possible for me NOT to sin in this moment. Help my unbelief! I believe the man in this story knew that Jesus could heal his boy so he said "I believe" but just as soon as he said it reservation set in when he thought of all that he had seen the boy go through and so he immediately prayed "Help my unbelief!" The following song has also been on my mind lately. I was driving to work one evening, grumbling and complaining that God's will was that I work that night (I really do enjoy my job...most of the time), when this song came on. I actually had never listened to the words until that time even though I've heard the song tons of times. Here are the amazing words:

I know that God is nigh
and would but cannot pray
for Satan meets me when I try
and frights my soul away
and frights my soul away.

I would but can't repent
though I endeavor oft
this stony heart can ne'er relent
til Jesus makes it soft
til Jesus makes it soft.

Help my unbelief
Help my unbelief
Help my unbelief
My help must come from Thee

I would but cannot love
though wooed by love divine
no arguments have power to move
a soul as base as mine
a soul so base as mine.

I would but cannot rest
in God's most holy will
I know what He appoints is best
and murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.

Help my unbelief
Help my unbelief
Help my unbelief
My help must come from Thee

So, I believe God is true to His word, but where my theology fails to produce itself in action I cry, "Help my unbelief!!