"Live Worthy of the Gospel" REDEFINED

Identity Crisis:
–noun
1. a period or episode of psychological distress, often occurring in adolescence but sometimes in adulthood, when a person seeks a clearer sense of self and an acceptable role in society.
2. confusion as to goals and priorities: The company is undergoing an identity crisis.

This could be me the last couple of months. Lets have a rundown.
Jan 08-moving home to be with my parents
"Feb-March 08-teaching at CPCP and in Mexico on a short term mission trip
March-April 08-visiting friends and family
End of April/beginning of May 08-in Mexico on a short term trip
May 08-dated and got engaged
June 08- camp counselor in Ecuador
July 08- camp counselor in Canada
August 08- married and living in Louisville as a seminary wife on the hunt for a nursing job and a church
Sept. 08-joined 3rd Avenue Baptist Church (praise the Lord, Hallelujah and AMEN!!)

Needless to say I have asked myself in the last 3 months: "Who am I?"

I won't lie. I have struggled with significance and purpose. I went from single female missionary to jobless seminary wife. I had way too much time on my hands to dwell on sin and no church to serve in. I could clean the apartment so that Jason can have a calm, nonchaotic (I guess that would be the meaning of calm) refuge to come home to but that takes all of an hour or so. The apartment was clean, Jason's needs were met, and still I had so much time on my hands I didn't know what to do with myself. I was battling sin more than ever in my life it seemed like and I felt like I was losing most battles. What I was doing for the Lord felt insignificant. My definition of a life worthy of the gospel was missions. Going to the hard places and willing to be martyred for the sake of the gospel. That certainly is a life lived worthy of the gospel. No doubt about that. Paul was in prison for the gospel when he wrote Ephesians. But it's not limited to that. The second time we visited 3rd Ave God brought me a friend named Mary. God has used her big time every time we meet to help me along. I was telling her of my struggle and she said, "You know...there is a similar verse (similar to Phil 1:27) in Ephesians that stuck out to me the other day. Paul was saying that he was urging the Ephesians to walk in a manner worthy of their calling and it didn't go on to say what I thought it would say like 'lay down your lives for the gospel, etc'. It said to walk in humility and patience, etc." That hit me square between the eyes. Humility. Good grief. I need a loading dose of humility and then an IV of humility fluid hooked up to me on continuous flow. I have so much pride I can't stand it! So, missionaries are indeed people who live worthy of the gospel IF their lives are also characterized by what SCRIPTURE says is a life lived worthy of the gospel in Ephesians 4. So, my identity crisis I believe has come to an end. I am first and foremost a child of God set apart for His purposes and His purpose for me right now is to be a Godly wife and a witness to the gospel everywhere I go. THAT is significant. So, whether missionary or mom (no I'm not pregnant...yet!), a life worthy of the gospel is defined by humility, gentleness, or to put it plainly: Christlikeness. For me, that is harder than going to the ends of the earth and dying for the gospel. I would even venture to say that I need more grace to live here and walk in humility and go evangelize than I would to live on the mission field, although I need his grace anywhere I am. So, I mapped out Ephesians 4 in a list of do's and don'ts (what's worthy and what's not):

Do:
*humility
*gentleness
*patience
*tolerate eachother in love
*be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
*speak the truth in love
*lay aside old self
*be renewed in the spirit of your mind
*put on the new self (which is created in the likeness of God: righteousness, holiness, and truth!!!)
*lay aside falsehood
*speak truth to your neighbor (because we are members of one another!!!)
*be angry and not sin
*do good labor that you may share with others in need
*speak words of edification
*put away BITTERNESS, WRATH, ANGER, CLAMOR, SLANDER, MALICE
*be KIND, TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING (as Christ forgave you...ALL your sin)

Don't:
*walk as the Gentiles walked
-futility of mind
-darkened in understanding
-excluded from the life of God because of ignorance and hard hearts
-calloused
-given over to sensuality and every impure act
-greedy for impure deeds
*let the sun go down on your anger
*give satan a foothold
*steal
*let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth
*grieve the Holy Spirit.

Then, Ephesians chapter 5 starts with, "Therefore be IMITATORS of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma."

I wrote a blog earlier about how our church search came to an end at 3rd Avenue Baptist Church (3abc) and how we need the local church. It doesn't surprise me that after Ephesians four begins with an urge to live lives worthy of the gospel that the middle part of the chapter talks about how Christ appointed by his grace apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers FOR THE EQUIPPING OF THE SAINTS FOR THE WORK OF SERVICE, TO THE BUILDING UP OF THE BODY OF CHRIST. Verses 15-16 say:

"but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together BY WHAT EVERY JOINT SUPPLIES, according to the proper working of each individual part, CAUSES THE GROWTH OF THE BODY FOR THE BUILDING UP OF ITSELF IN LOVE."

I have truly experienced this through the local church, the body of Christ. God used Mary to speak truth in love into my life. God used Dan Diffey to speak truth in love into my life as he called the church to be prepared for Christ's return by living a holy life, evangelizing, and bringing about the kingdom in our lives and others. God has used Kurt, our pastor, every Sunday as he preached through Genesis to show me the foolishness of walking in sin, God's judgment on sin, and God's mercy and blessing on His children. God has used the church, His body, to build me up in love. So, let us live worthy of the gospel and walk out this verse:

Therefore, laying aside all falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF ONE ANOTHER!
Ephesians 4:25

Whoever you are and whatever you are doing, the calling on your life is to walk in humility, gentleness, patience...to be like Christ. In all simplicity, that is a life worthy of the gospel.

So...I'm off to read Mahaney's book titled, "Humility." Adios!!